Sigh...

So it's been almost 2 years since my last entry... I know no one reads these stupid things anymore which is why I've decide to write I need to get things off my chest and I feel that this is the best way to do it. Man where do I start... So I just want to clarify something.... It's all Trevors fault... Trevor has this friend and he just moved here from PA. His name is Kenny. Hes absolutely amazing in every aspect of every way. I don't get it.. why is it that when I want a guy they kind of give me hope and then theres another girl someone better prettier not so much of a bitch.  Or they " don't want to be in a relationship" Until they meet someone better then you then they're all of a sudden "ready". But I never have problems getting guys who go after me from the start. Sometimes I feel like almost every relationship I've been in has been one that I settled for...Maybe because the guys that I've gone after either dont like me at all or I'm just not good enough...I'm not at all saying thats what Kenny is doing, but.... I dont know. I seriously though something would come to be of him and I when we were both settled and ready to start a relationship. Now Im positive that it's not going to happen... I won't be the reason for it either. He's distanced himself from me a lot this past week, and I dont truly understand why. I think he's still in love with an ex. But hey I guess thats life right? I just wish I would stop falling for these type of guys... I really didn't want to move 150 miles away from everything I know, but the more I think about it the better the idea sounds. Being around him when I can't have him its to hard and it would hurt to bad. Not being around him at all hurts also but it won't forever. The more I type the more depressed I seem to get. So Im done.

Life is ok I've joined the Air Force. Im training for it every week with my recruitor. I miss Docken more than anything he was my whole world but theres alot of shit i have to fix before that can become something again. I know he still loves me and I still love him. Although Bryan is a good boyfriend and he treats me great he treats me like a princess. He's just not Docken. </3 I love him very much he will always be in my heart and he knows that.  He's the one for me now we just have to get through the small stuff. pce yall.

got my license today...

get to break the news to my mom.

no license till monday shitty and only getting worse.

im over it